Bumped

Bumped by Megan McCafferty

From the moment I read the first professional reviews of this young adult dystopian novel, I wanted to read it. First problem was that we didn’t own it. Second problem was that we still don’t own it. Third problem is that only one other library in our entire system owns it. I checked the non-professional reviews and there is a noticeable bell-curve concerning this book. A few, like me, loved it. A few abhorred it. And everyone else bunched up in the middle.

Now, it did take me several chapters to get into it. And the language is definitely fabricated and there is no glossary. It’s almost like going to a foreign country with only a few memorized phrases in my back pocket. But then I got the hang of it and truly enjoyed the language. It is fun and funny and just plain mocking. These are teenagers however and who doesn’t get a laugh out of listening to their conversations?

The place? Our future – 2035. A virus has swept the world causing infertility to the vast majority of people over the age of eighteen. The only persons with the ability to conceive intact are teenagers. Professional couples eager to start a family must rely on surrogates for their children. The most important person in the world becomes the pregnant teen. There are amateur “breeders”. They get pregnant and the “delivery” goes to the highest bidder. And there are professional pregnancies as well. If one can afford the perfect baby, why not hire the egg and the sperm of one’s choice?

Meet Melody. She was the first girl to go professional in her town. Healthy. Gorgeous. Intelligent. Athletic. Northern-European. Musical. She has her own agent who acquired a contract for her that includes a college education at the finest, most expensive and exclusive university. But her purity is on contract as well as on hold while her clients choose the sperm-donor to bump her. And time is running out. At sixteen, she is fast approaching her obsolescence.

Melody has a secret that could potentially harm her unique position of uniquely fabulous. She has a monozygotic twin named Harmony. The two were abandoned as babies. Melody was adopted by wealthy scientists who had already foreseen the consequences of supply and demand on the nation’s newborn population. They were making an investment.

Harmony was adopted by the Church and raised in a community of families. Consider four families to one house and multiple house brothers and sisters. It is not a great example, but you could compare the Church to the Amish rather than say a Protestant church. Harmony was raised to marry young, be fruitful and multiply.

Melody knows of Harmony because her agent is good – he digs deep and he has the power to make files disappear. Harmony knows of Melody because she chose to search for her biological parents. While she didn’t find her parents, she did find a twin. She makes it her God-directed purpose in life to save her sister from a life of sin – premarital “bumping”. Harmony has God. She wants Melody to have God too. And that is how Harmony winds up at Melody’s door.

Both sisters think the other needs saving. Both sisters find their twin to be utterly dissimilar. But this is not entirely true. They are both running away from an arranged “bump”. They both come to a vivid realization about themselves and their beliefs. And that is where Bumped ends! Of course.

The book alternates in chapters. Melody speaks and then Harmony speaks. I find Melody to be the more interesting of the two because she seems to be more of a thinker. Harmony seems a touch brainwashed. But as the book progresses, Harmony becomes more interesting and then the twists and turns start leaving the reader breathless.

For a book that would seem to be about sex, there isn’t much in it and definitely NOT graphic. There is talk of massSEX parties where cheerleaders and basketball players have mass orgies in an effort to get pregnant at the same time. But the reader is never invited. There are boys known as “everythingbut”s because their genes are not worthy of procreation. There are procreationists who are people of the church who believe in spreading the seed – a worthy service to the barren.

There are also prescription drugs. Tocin to get donors in the mood. Obliteral to prevent the bonding of the mother with the “delivery.” Oh, and condoms are banned. The descriptions are all a part of the world-building. There are first-curse purses to celebrate a young girl’s entrée into the new world of pregging. There are “fun-bumps” so that girls can experience the joy of pregnancy. Oh, and the vocabulary is pitch perfect for teen girls who are concerned about their status.

The book was inspired by the question, “What if only teenagers could get pregnant?” and a heavy dose of the more recent reality show genre featuring teenage mothers.

The book is satire and it is funny on the surface. But underneath is a chilling possibility. And I came away from the book thinking that I would love to present and teach it to an appropriate class. Think Handmaiden’s Tale for the young adult. I hate to say it, but I loved it.